Girls’ Night

At the end of Drew’s senior year of high school, last May, I had a bit of a panic while driving.  Panic attacks happen at the most convenient times – mine usually happen in the Target parking lot.  Anyway, back to the story.  Ummmm…..how will I ever see MY GIRLFRIENDS again?  It seemed that all of my people were entangled with Drew and our social functions were related to school.  All those years of volunteering, carpooling, school functions….what would I do with myself?  I’m still figuring that out – actually, but I knew that I needed my friends!!

Frantically, I sent out a group text to my girls and said, “I am going to NEED to see you all…like don’t forget about me!!”  Many of these girls still have younger kids, so they all would continue to see one another – but I had visions of me….just being locked up in the house, somehow!

We have managed to get together, almost, monthly since September and it’s been good for my soul.  The first month we met and painted rocks with our kids’ college colors.  We drank wine, ate snacks and caught up.IMG_9318

Last night, as we sat around the table – we remembered how our kids were in preschool together, some have been friends since they were babies and some of us became friends when our kids entered middle school.  We have witnessed one another carrying babies on hips, our older kids have babysat the younger ones in the summers, brought meals when sadness has hit our homes and so many happy days we have shared – field trips, dances, first loves and now sending this class off to college.  Life is better with girlfriends.IMG_9315

I’m still doing plenty of wandering around trying to figure out what to do with all of my time and scratching my head at the amount of zero laundry we have these days, but I’m glad I had the brains to text my friends that day in the Target parking lot.  Oh, and I’m glad they all responded back!  Ha!

Blessings ~

Grieving class….

oh yes, there is such a thing and this year I signed up for all of them.

In July, my brave, beautiful, wonderful and nearly perfect mom passed away suddenly.

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We were in Dallas with our boys for just a quick get-away.  My brother called one morning and I had a sinking feeling that it wasn’t going to be good when I answered the phone.  It wasn’t.  My mother had gotten caught under her recliner and had been stuck under it all night long.  In the morning, she was found – still alive, but her leg was injured and she was taken by ambulance and admitted into intensive care, where she never left.  She had a trauma wound and after two surgeries, a blood clot went to her kidneys and her lungs.  I was so lucky to get to be with her when she was reunited with my precious dad in heaven.  I held her hand and I told her that it was okay to go. I saw her eyes sparkle and her lips smile as she left our earthly home.  She was so happy to go and it left me speechless, honestly – watching her – seeing my dad without a doubt.  How do you not believe in God?  I know, without a doubt that my parents are in heaven together and it’s given me the greatest comfort, but left me with an unspeakable void here on earth.

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The same morning that my mom passed away, my oldest brother was taken by ambulance to the hospital and was admitted with pneumonia.  Mom’s funeral was post-poned until my brother was well enough to be a part of her services.  In September, he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and at the end of October he passed away.  He was sixty-two, ten years older than me.


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So, to say that I signed up for every grieving class I could get my hands on this year is an understatement!  I ran to every grieving class I could find and dragged a friend with me.

I knew with my dad that the bigger the love, the more enormous the grief and that is a privilege and a blessing.  I am finding my parents in my everyday living and I am thankful for my relationship with my friends and family where I can talk about my parents and keep them alive through my memories and theirs.

Losing my oldest brother has been so hard, yet I’m so thankful he was given a little bit of time to get his ducks in a row.  He was the smartest, gentlest person with the gruffest and most sarcastic exterior.  I miss him.

Grieving is a real deal, but it doesn’t define me.  I know that this is a process and embracing the process is good.

bradbury

 

a baby named bee

IMG_7877On October sixth I became a Lolly and honestly, the world became better…in that minute, the world magically became more beautiful.
Abby and Jordan named her Brooklyn Renae and she, already, has a lot of nicknames.  My favorite for her is “bee” and with my name beginning with ‘b’ – I love that little commonality.IMG_7891I’m so lucky that she lives in town with her sweet parents and that I was able to help with her for the first few weeks of her precious life.  I got to spend hours holding her while she slept and in the moments when she wasn’t ‘needing’  her Lolly – I managed to help her mommy settle into mommy-hood. She has the best first time momma ever.  I love being Bee’s Lolly.  I think it’s THE best …. hands down!🐝💛🐝💛IMG_8177

well ‘hi’ twenty-seventeen

…it’s been such a long time.

Jumping back in today on this beautiful January day.

It’s my father-in-law’s eighty-sixth birthday and I’m hanging onto him for dear life.  He’s a quiet one with a steady gaze and an easy smile.  It took us awhile to warm up to one another back in 1985, but we are in a good place now.  He didn’t raise a daughter and he wasn’t keen on outsiders, especially the one who “took” their son away – so far away…like a mile.  None-the-less, I was the one and it took Ron Davis some time to realize that I was good enough for his beloved boy.

After becoming a mother, he and I became closer because I had something he needed – grandbabies!  He adores his grandchildren – I mean….like wow.

After becoming a grandmother myself … I KNOW….IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME….I’ll fill you in on the grandbaby in another post, but for now – this is all about Ron.  Anyway, after having our first grandbaby arrive on the scene in October, I know all about this grandbaby love and it’s for-real.

When Abby arrived in 1989, we had something Ron needed to be a part of and he was there with open arms – day or night…and how we needed him.  He checked teeth when they were poking through (his profession was dentistry), he dropped off Sprite on the porch when they were sick, he was always ready to hang out with them while we had a dinner date and he was and IS always interested to hear what they are doing.  This yearning to be involved in our children’s lives and ours, gave he and I a new-found common ground and my love for him and his acceptance of me began to naturally grow.

After my dad passed away in 2013, I needed Ron more – just seeing his face or hearing his voice was the comfort that I sometimes wanted.

He taught my husband how to be an amazing husband and the most incredible father and now granddad.  I love him – just like my own dad and I’m so happy to celebrate his eighty-sixth tonight.

“The heart of a father is the masterpiece of nature.”
Abbé Prévost, Manon Lescaut

BDAY

Yoga Pants – for real….

The fourth of July weekend was a big one for our family.  We celebrated with fireworks at Grand Lake on a boat – watching Jordan propose to our Abby as music played and other boats honked. 11012753_10205491029729743_1202852136332260408_nAfter the excitement of that evening, we jumped on golf carts and headed back up to the lake house.  I opted out of taking the golf cart and knew RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT…..I had to shed some pounds before the wedding….I walked and I’ve been walking since!

The next morning, we all met together – Jordan’s family and Abby’s family to nail down a date and a place.  In less than an hour, the place was decided and the date – November 7th, which was ….ummmmm….four months away!  This momma had some work to do!

What does a best friend do when their pal is in need?  Well, mine found a trainer and got busy….really busy.

I have never been a ‘work out’ person, ever.  In college, I dropped tennis because I had to change my clothes.  Obviously, working out and me did not go hand-in-hand.  Oh sure, I had tried out the YMCA and knew how to get on and off a treadmill, but nothing more than that.

Walking into a gym with trainers could be a bit bothersome, but after getting over the initial fear and knowing that I would be the “last one picked” for any team – I was okay….until about day two when the trainer announced that we were going to “run” to the bridge.  First of all – how far is the bridge?  Second – I do not run – I really don’t run.  I’ve never been shy about letting others know how I feel and made my feelings known and the trainer who is just as sassy as I am or more so – coined me with the nickname “Fiesta” (fiesty), which has stuck.  12322802_10153338651973576_7943517625595450231_o

Many days when I go to the gym there is more than one trainer and often times there are four guys for our “boot-camp” circuit type training.  After a few weeks of training, I had become bonded with my group. The girls were and are very kind and patient with me.  However, I really am keenly aware that I suck at this….not sure that is going to change!

When the weather was nice, the trainer was known to call out “run to the bridge” before we started our circuits and I would notice him pulling another trainer over and then pointing to me.  Quickly, I learned that this meant I had a trainer with me the whole time I was “running/walking/complaining” and when I would try to stop – their hand would gently nudge me on…..and the while I’m saying, “I’m not a runner….”

Thank God the weather has gotten cold and the “running” to the bridge has stopped or the trainers have taken pity upon pathetic me – because lately, I have gotten to do the rowing machine for cardio which is NOT RUNNING.

So, if you see Pam or I out these days and we are wearing yoga pants and sleeveless shirts (covered with a sweatshirt), hair pulled up in a ponytail – we are SERIOUSLY wearing yoga pants – for REAL because we gotta….not just because they are comfy.

And…to top all of this off – we like it, which is super weird – because I’m not a worker outer and she isn’t either.

Oh – and Abby and Jordan did get married on November 7th and I was down a few pounds – which was fun, but more importantly – I’m still working out and MOST IMPORTANTLY – the wedding was wonderful and they are living happily ever after.

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Blessings~

Beth